Toozer

Ever so often, an ordinary person comes up with an idea that completely transmogrifies the forthcoming. I too, just came up with such an abstraction, an idea so simple, yet so brilliant that it leaves all who hear about it, in total reverence. For over two decades, I have been seeing people with unsanitary teeth until one day I couldn't take it anymore and took it upon myself to rid mankind of such a putrid affair.
Behold, the "Toozer", an amalgamation of a Toothbrush with a Tazer. The answer to all of humanity's woes! Ok, maybe not all, but at least one! Everyday we are bombarded by a mash-up of multiple products, bundled together as one for the convenience of the simpletons, like Cell phones and Cameras, Pencils and Erasers, Automobiles and Stereos etc etc, so the combination of a toothbrush and a Tazer seemed quite natural. Those of us who have been privileged enough to use a good quality electric toothbrush must know how they have the 2 minute timers. With the Toozer, if you turn off your toothbrush before the 2 minutes are up, you will get 10,000 volts of electrical fiesta! :) That should be enough to coerce people to have good oral hygiene. Should make for an excellent christmas gift for children and adults alike and should also help drive some of them darn dentists out of business.


"[Dentists!] Who needs them? Not to mention the Blacks and the Jews!"
(Beth to Jerry Seinfeld)

Mitch Hedberg Quote of the Day

"I played golf, I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying"

Is There No End To Their Gayness?

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. I was at Target yesterday and comitted a grave and unforgivable sin. I bought Hilary Duff's latest CD! I know what I did was wrong and I am not trying to justify my actions or asking for forgiveness, I just wanted to come out in the open about it. I understand if none of you ever talk to me again, but hiding it from everyone was eating me up inside and I wanted to get it off my chest.

Quote of the Day

"It's OK to lie to women, they are not people like us."

(Peter Griffin)

Who Of A ?

Ok, I never heard this joke before I moved to Tucson but anytime I tell any U of A fan that I went to ASU, their immediate response is "ASWho?". What I don't get is, if they really want to make fun of any letter of ASU, they should at least pick a letter that is not found in "U of A"!!! What retards!

Stupid Pro-Lifers

Ok, this morning on my drive to work, I saw a huge sign on the back of a car windshield that read "God is Pro Life". At first, that made chuckle because I don't know who her God is but the God for most people here on this planet REALLY likes to kill people. Draughts, famines, pandemics and sometimes, when he is really bored, he gets creative and generates massive Tsunamis that kill a few hundred thousand people in a day. So I laughed at her folly (and at her as well), and then I thought more about that sign and wondered how crappy that God must be if even he / she doesn't have a choice to have or not have a baby! So basically, what she is saying is that God, the creator of heaven and hell, the all knowing and all powerful, can create human life out of grains of sand, but if he wants to terminate his pregnancy, he is f***ed!

Here's Zoey!

I noticed I don't have any pics of my favorite (and only) niece on my blog so here it is...

View to a Kill

Another pic taken from my apartment balcony...

Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

Immigration Dude

Ok, so it seems the US Customs agency have a hiring policy of hiring only the biggest jerks around. I ran into a total jackass on my way back from Toronto. That guy had a big attitude and ego problem and totally reminded me of a song by Stephen Lynch:

If I could be a superhero, I'd be Immigration dude
I’d send all the foreigners back to their homes, for eating up all of our food.

And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dishwashing & picking our fruit

I’d pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood
‘Cause I’d be Immigration Dude

Nida's Big Fat Paki Wedding

A few pics from my cousin's wedding in Toronto:

The Bride's entourage:


The Bachelors:


The Bachelorettes: